Devil Take The Hindmost
by Artemis Sherwood
Summary: Diana Scott finally gets to see "The Hobbit" at the midnight premiere. But when a voice claiming to belong to the evil Sauron apparentally sends her to Middle-Earth to change the fate of The Company, she finds herself falling in love with the two men Sauron wants most to destroy. Might be a bit OOC.
1. Chapter 1

"You are probably the strangest child in existence."

I rolled my eyes and sent my Mom a pointed glare. "Please. I've been acting obsessive like this since fourth grade. Aren't you used to it by now?"

"I was hoping it would wear off by now," she sighed.

It was difficult for me to resist snorting in reply. "Honestly, Mom. I've waiting for this movie for over a year now. I think I have a right to be just a tad obsessive." I sighed as I looked around the theatre, feeling absolutely giddy at seeing all these Tolkein fans in the same building as me. "Dude, it's like geek central in here!"

"I know. It's almost scary."

"Mom, do not mock the geeks. We are powerful and we shall have world domination! Soon..."

Mom laughed a little and shook her head again, looking away from me as she (probably) wondered how she had managed to get such an insane child. I started bouncing my right leg up and down in anticipation for the film to start. As usual, Mom grabbed my thigh and held it down so that it wouldn't rub against hers. "Stop."

"I'm excited," I protested, not thinking that I could manage actually staying still.

"Well be excited without tapping your leg. Okay?"

I sighed, exasperated, but silently agreed. However, my leg started bouncing again after only ten seconds. It's not like I try to annoy my Mom, it just sort of happens that my leg naturally twitches... We went through the whole process of discussing my need to bounce my leg when I'm bored or excited again and, by the time my mom was ready to rip my legs off, the movie was starting. I immediately stopped twitching and stared at the large screen. _My life is complete. I am seeing 'The Hobbit' on opening day at midnight. I can die happy now._

Now you can make fun of me as much as you want, but I did actually start crying when the movie began. It was just so beautiful; seeing the Shire for the first time on the big screen, listening to Bilbo write down his accounts of his unexpected journey, hearing the beautiful flute music that I had grown to love more than almost anything play as Frodo and Bilbo chatted about the upcoming party. But my tears quickly dried when Bilbo and Gandalf began their hilarious banter.

To put it simply, I love Martin Freeman. The man is sexy and adorable all at the same time, kind of like Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch, and is so immensely talented at his profession. Then adorable-as-heck Fili and kili showed up and I nearly swooned. They had to be the most handsome dwarves in existence. Not for the first or last time, I was wrong. When Thorin Oakenshield himself stepped throught the door of Bag-End, I almost forgot how to breathe. _Hot damn. That dwarf is fine. (_I am not ashamed of my feelings, just so you all know.)

I was a little mad at myself about halfway through the movie when my bladder decided to be an assbutt and almost explode. So I hurriedly ran out of the room, leaving behind my poor Bilbo and my sexy Fili, Kili, and Thorin to go to the bloody bathroom, which I happen to think is very cruel. I don't think I've ever gone to the bathroom faster thatn I did that night. It should have gone into the Guiness Book of World Records.

I literally sprinted back into the room that was completeing my life but, oddly enough, when I opened the door the entire theatre was empty. Not a single person was in that room other than myself. "Strange," I muttered. "I don't think they could have left the room that quickly." I slowly looked around in case I was having a hallucination, but there wasn't even evidence of people being in that room at all. "Dude, how many One Rings can you have?"

_"You are strange, young daughter of Men," _a phantom-like voice hissed in my ear. I jumped and looked over my shoulder, expecting to see... something. But there was nothing there. _"Your knowledge of this quest will be of great use to my rule over Middle-Earth."_

"What the heck? Who's there? Who are you?"

_"I am Sauron, Lord of all the Earth."_

"What?!"

The already dim lights in the theatre went out and, to put it mildly, I was terrified. I gasped and stumbled backwards, searching for something to put against my back so that no one would sneak up on me. A metal-clad hand gripped my arm and brought me to the floor. The air was knocked out of me as I fell. My arms spun wildly in a search for something to balance myself with, but it was too late. I hit the cement head first and, for the first time in my entire life, I blacked out.

There we go! My first "Hobbit" fanfiction! I hope you guys liked it. I know it was kind of awkward and weird, but... Yeah, I am too... Reviews really help me improve the story!


	2. Chapter 2

When I opened my eyes, I saw nothing but green and brown. Green leaves, green grass, green insects. Brown tree trunks sprouted up from the ground all around me and brown dirt was smudged all across my arms and clothes. Slowly, I sat up and looked up at the enormous trees towering above me. "What the-? This is definitely not the movie theatre and it's definitely not my bedroom." I looked down and let out a groan of annoyance when I saw the dirt streaked across my shirt and coat. "Really? I just made this shirt a week ago! And this is my best coat! It's my Sherlock coat, it can't get dirty!"

The sound of footsteps and male laughter made me stop complaining. Hurriedly, I stood up on my shaky legs and tried to run behind the nearest tree. That plan was quickly destroyed when I tripped over my foot and landed face first in the grass. The voices, which were surprisingly familiar, stopped and the footsteps grew faster and more frequent. My heart pounded violently against my chest as I tried to stand up again. I leaned heavily against the large tree beside me as I pathetically hobbled behind the tree.

"Oi! You there!"

_Oh no. I'm going to die. _I looked over my shoulder, hair whipping around my face and nearly fell over from shock. _At the hand of two of the most attractive dwarves in existence. Wait, what?! _The two brothers, Fili and Kili, slowly approached me with their hands close to their weapons in case I happened to be dangerous. But when I made eye contact with Kili, he moved his hand away from the handle of his axe and whispered something in his brother's ear.

I turned to face them and smiled nervously at them. "Um, do you know where I am?" I asked hesitantly.

"Of course. This is the Shire and we are Fili-"

"And Kili, at your service," Kili continued as they both bowed with a smile.

"Diana Scott, at your service Fili and Kili." I smiled in return and offered them a small bow of my own. However, when I stood up again I tilted to one side and fell on my back. An unbearable wave of nausea flooded my senses and I had to fight the urge to throw up. The two dwarves rushed to my side, asking me if I was ill. "Please, you have to help me," I begged. "I don't know how I got here, but I know I don't belong here."

The brothers shared a confused and worrisome expression as Kili knelt beside me. "Miss Diana Scott," he said gently. "I do not understand. Please, stay calm and perhaps we can help you."

I closed my eyes and shook my head, feeling tears burn my eyes. "This isn't real," I whispered. "This isn't real. This can't be real. It's not possible."

"What do you mean?"

"You're not real! You can't be!" I tried to open my eyes, but the nausea was overwhelmingly strong and forced my eyes to stay closed. "I'm going insane."

There was silence in the moments that followed. I opened my eyes just enough to see Kili staring worriedly up at his brother. I tried to lift my head a little, but instead my eyes slid closed and my head fell back. For the second time in my life, I blacked out.

* * *

"Has the young lady woken up yet?"

"No, not yet," a deep, familiar voice replied. "Return to the Company, Kili. I would have words with the young woman when she awakes." I pretended to be asleep as the footsteps faded away, hoping I could get up and explore once they were gone. "You can open your eyes now, young one."

I unconsciously obeyed and looked around in shock. "_Gandalf?" _The wizard nodded an chuckled. "B-But… But you're…"

"Real? Yes, I suppose so," he chuckled. "And so are you." I sat up quickly, then swayed backwards. "Careful. You are still sickened by the Necromancer's magic."

"What? T-The Necromancer? I thought Sauron was the one who took me here."

"The Necromancer is Sauron in his non-physical form, child. I could sense his dark magic lingering about you when the two brothers found you." The aged wizard sighed and shook his head. "It is a pity that he brought an innocent child into his war against this land."

"You mean, you know what he said to me? Before I was kidnapped?"

He nodded slowly, a sad look in his wise eyes. "I guessed it easily enough. He means to use you to destroy whatever chance Thorin and his Company have of taking back Erebor. And, I suspect, he has something far more evil than that at work."

I nodded a silent yes. "I think so. He told me that my knowledge of the quest would help him conquer Middle-Earth." I swallowed nervously and looked straight into the wizard's eyes. "Will I ever go back home?"

"I do not know, child. I haven't any answers to the questions surrounding you and your strange appearance here."

"Will he force me to do anything I don't want to? I mean, does he have mind control or something?"

The corner of his lips twitched upwards momentarily. "I should certainly hope not. You should be safe, young one, as long as you heed my advice."

"But… In order for me to hear your advice, I'd have to go with you… Wouldn't I?" A single nod from Gandalf was all it took for me to almost lose my mind. "What? You want me to come with you? But, isn't that sort of a bad idea letting Sauron's new puppet come with you? Not that I'm his puppet, because I'm not and I don't want to be, it was more of a figure of speech."

Gandalf chuckled and put his hand on mine. "Do not fear, child. I trust you are not as evil as the Dark Lord is. I shall keep you safe on this journey, should you choose to come."

"I have a choice?"

"Yes. I cannot force you to come with us, nor can I force you to stay here in Bag-End. It is entirely your choice."

"I'm in Bag-End? As in, the home of one Bilbo Baggins?" I didn't even wait for his answer before I jumped out of the bed and ran for the door. "Oh my gosh, this can't be real!"

"Child, wait!"

I opened the door and practically sprinted down the hall. I didn't realize how tall the ceiling was until I heard Gandalf walking behind me and I looked up at him. Now I already knew the Sir Ian McKellan was probably six-foot-something, but he looked almost three feet taller than me! "Gandalf? Why are you so much taller than me?"

"Child, you are a Hobbit. Not to offend you, but I am naturally taller than you."

"What? A Hobbit? I'm not a Hobbit, I'm a human!"

"Look at your feet child, they are not the feet of a human female. And your ears are pointed like a Hobbit's. I suggest that you rest for the remainder of this night. You will be refreshed and ready for the journey by morning."

My reply was cut short when I heard multiple baritone voices sing a hauntingly familiar song. "Far over the misty mountains cold to dungeons deep and caverns old." _Thorin? My sexy dwarf? Okay, calm down. He will think you're a total freak if you smother him with adoration and all that… Be calm, be cool. _"The pines were roaring on the heights. The winds were moaning in the night. The fire was red, it flaming spread. The trees like torches blazed with light."

A hand rested gently on my shoulder. "Go back and rest, child. I will be sure to wake you in time."

I nodded silently and shuffled back into my room, laying down on the bed and sighing. _It's just a dream, Di. Just a dream. Go to sleep and it'll all be fine when you wake up._


	3. Chapter 3

**I want to thank all forty of my reviewers that have loved my story in the past few weeks. My thanks also goes out to all the beautiful people who favorited and story alerted. YOU ARE ALL AMAZING PEOPLE.**

**Also, I'm going to take out quotes from the book but use the same plot line (sort of) as the movie.**

**Disclaimer: I don't sign my homework with the name "J.R.R. Tolkein" and I'm not nearly that creative. Kapeesh?**

I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling refreshed and completely safe. I yawned and stretched my arms above my head. "That was the weirdest dream I've ever had," I said softly.

"That was no dream, Diana Scott."

I squeaked and looked up for the source of the voice. There was Sir Ian McKellan, sitting beside my bed in full Gandalf costume and smoking a long pipe. His long bushy eyebrows were drawn together in concentration as he stared ahead unblinkingly.

My voice was momentarily lost upon seeing the actor/possible real-life character in close proximity to myself, but I eventually managed to mumble, "Well you certainly look real."

Gandalf McKellan, as I had decided to call him, briefly allowed a smile to flit across his face. "That would, perhaps, be because of the fact that I _am _real, dear one."

"Ah." I nodded slightly and absently scratched my cheek. "So… I'm not crazy, then?"

"It would be a great misfortune if you were," he replied seriously.

I nervously chewed on the inside of my cheek and sighed. "So, you're real, Middle-Earth is real, and the Necromancer wants to use me to destroy the world. Right?"

Gandalf McKellan nodded and turned to look at me, his gray eyes serious and worried. "I fear that is true."

With a nod, I lay on my back again and sighed. "Awesome. I go from being your everyday nerd and wanna-be famous singer to the Necromancer's new tool in world domination. Happens to me all the time," I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

"Are you afraid?" Gandalf asked.

"Yes. For as long as I've loved Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, I've always dreamed of this happening to me. I've wanted to meet Thorin and Bilbo and Legolas and now that it's happening, I'm absolutely terrified." I ran a hand through my short hair and then shook my head. "_If _this is real, then this is a matter of life and death. This isn't just a story anymore… I-It's something tangible, something real…"

Gandalf's hand found mine and gripped it comfortingly. "I do not pretend to understand your strange world or your strange ways, Diana Scott," he said softly, "but I can promise you protection and some small amount of safety should you decide to come with the company."

"What would you do, Gandalf? If you were me, what would you do?"

He shook his head and let out a breath. "This decision is not mine. You must make it yourself, without my help."

"But Gandalf-"

"No, my dear. Rest now and think upon this decision. I shall wake you in the morning when the company is ready to leave. Tell me then."

"But-"

"_Sleep_," he insisted, putting a hand on my shoulder and smiling. "_Sleep_."

I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep soon afterwards.

* * *

Gandalf woke me as the sun was rising over the lush green hills of the Shire. His hand rested on my shoulder when my eyes flew open and I quickly sat up. "The company is ready to leave within the hour, Diana Scott. I trust you have made a decision?"

Before I could even open my mouth to answer, three dwarves barged into the room with loud and excited voices. "If you please, Master Gandalf, I was wondering-" "Gandalf, Oin seems to have lost his earpiece-" "My boots are missing _and _we don't have any breakfast-"

We both looked at the open doorway to see sweet little Ori, a rough-looking Gloin, and a semi-worried Bofur gazing expectantly at us. They all stopped mid-sentence upon seeing me in bed, half awake and completely shocked at their sudden appearance. I felt my cheeks turn bright red at their curious gaze and nervously looked at each of their faces.

"Lass," Bofur exclaimed in embarrassment, "I apologize for intrudin'. Er, we're terribly sorry." Ori nodded eagerly and Gloin grunted in what I assumed was agreement. "We didn't mean to."

I smiled genuinely and replied, "It's alright. You aren't intruding. If you'd like to talk to Gandalf, please do so." Looking up at Gandalf, I nodded silently and mouthed the words, "I'll go."

He smiled in return and patted my hand, then left with the three awkward dwarves. Now fully awake, I rubbed my eyes with the backs of my hands and groaned as I awkwardly tried to crack my back. I slowly crawled out of the comfortable bed and yawned, rotating my right ankle until the joint cracked satisfyingly.

"Well, this is certainly not what I was expecting when I went to the movie theatre," I mumbled. "Although Gandalf McKellan isn't all that bad. And now I get the chance to see my extremely sexy Thorin up close. That's definitely a good thing."

I smiled and tried to comb my hair with my fingers so that I didn't look like I'd been electrocuted in my sleep. Once I had decided that I didn't look ridiculous, I opened the door and stepped awkwardly into the adjoining hallway. The sound of heavy footsteps and loud conversation came from down the hall. I walked barefoot towards the sounds and soon found myself staring at, not only the company of Thorin Oakenshield, but Thorin himself! His back was to me as he leaned against the doorway of Bilbo's dining room and the rest of the dwarves were hurriedly shoving food and drink down their throats in between bits of conversation and belching.

Ori spotted me and stopped eating, staring at me with a wide open mouth. Beside him, Nori followed his gaze and stared at me as well. I blushed and nervously tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear. Fili and Kili noticed and were soon staring at me. Eventually, the entire company was staring at me with the exception of Thorin. He looked over his shoulder to find the subject of his companions' interest and saw me, my cheeks bright red and my eyes wide.

"I see our Hobbit lass has finally awoken," he commented. "My sister-sons tell me you behaved as though you were mad when they found you. Are you mad?"

I blinked and gaped at him, my mouth suddenly dry and my voice completely gone.


	4. Chapter 4

In that moment, I really wished I could turn invisible. I finally got to meet one of the fictional characters that I thought was incredibly sexy and basically amazing and he thought I was crazy. _I seem to have that effect on people, _I considered briefly.

My response stuck to the roof of my mouth at first, then suddenly tumbled off my tongue in a rush. "I'm not mad. Why would you think I'm mad?"

Fili and Kili chuckled and I sent them a death glare, my eyes narrowed dangerously. A large hand suddenly rested on my shoulder, accompanied by Gandalf McKellan's voice. "Diana Scott is most assuredly not mad, Thorin Oakenshield. In fact, she is quite a witty and intelligent young lady." There was a long pause where Thorin glanced from me to Gandalf, then the wizard continued, "Which is exactly why she shall be accompanying the company on our journey."

A wide range of emotions flashed across the dwarf prince's face in a matter of seconds: confusion, shock, anger, and disbelief. "Gandalf, surely you are not suggesting that this… _woman_ join us! And a Hobbit woman, no less! She will only be a burden, not unlike your burglar!"

Now I'm normally an extremely shy and quiet person and I almost always keep to myself. But hearing Thorin degrade me for simply being a woman infuriated me to no end. I took the smallest of steps forward in frustration. "You little prick!" I snapped. "Just because your bloody nephews deemed me crazy when I was lost and confused and afraid and because I'm a woman, of all things, you've decided that I'm completely worthless? I will have you know that women are stronger than most men! Or dwarves, for that matter. Are you, as a male, able to give birth to a child time after time according to the demands of your husband or society? Are you, as a male, able to handle blood coming out of your private parts for at least one week every month and the horrible cramps that feel like you're being stabbed in the gut that come with it? No, I didn't think so. So when you're able to do all that, please do let me know and I might forgive you for being an insufferable moron."

I didn't realize how rude, and loud, I'd been until the words left my mouth. My eyes widened considerably and I clamped a hand over my mouth in shock and embarrassment. Gandalf's hand patted my shoulder in a slow, gentle pattern. Every single living being in the room was staring at me, some with amusement, some with shock and some with a mixture of both emotions.

"Oh my… God. Thorin, I am so sorry! I-I didn't mean to be so rude-"

The dwarven prince interrupted me, "Do you honestly expect me to allow this girl to accompany us when she is so completely disrespectful towards me?"

Gandalf McKellan chuckled. "Thorin, you forget that it was I who invited her to join us and not you. She has more to offer than you think."

I blushed again and ducked my head, feeling silly for my outburst. I could practically feel the anger radiating off Thorin's body at Gandalf's insistence of my joining them. He sighed and replied, "Fine. But she will be your responsibility, not mine."

He walked briskly past us, his head held high and looking every bit the majestic prince he was. _This is when having the silver tongued gift of Loki's would come in handy, _I thought a little sadly. _That way I wouldn't offend one of the sexiest dwarves in existence that I also happen to have a major crush on…_

I glanced around at the other dwarves in embarrassment, barely making eye contact with anyone. Then I looked up at Gandalf over my shoulder and sighed. "I feel like such an idiot," I said softly.

He tilted his head towards me slightly and patted my shoulder again. "Thorin is not used to anyone disagreeing with him, especially a young lady of a different race. Leave him be for a while. The stubbornness of dwarves is quite strong, dear one."

I looked at the company and smiled briefly. "Uh… Hi?"

* * *

We all left Bilbo's comfortable home within an hour and it was sufficiently awkward for the first hour. Until Gandalf decided to be the lovely conversation starter that he is and casually asked me, "Tell me, Diana, didn't you mention earlier this morning that you were an aspiring singer of sorts?"

I blushed from my position on Bilbo's future pony and looked down shyly at the reins in my hands. "Uh, y-yes. I did."

"Do you mind if I ask for you to elaborate on this particular dream of yours?"

Behind me, Fili and Kili and ceased their whispering and looked expectantly at me and ahead of me, Ori, Bofur, and Nori looked back at me in interest. I nervously tightened my legs' grip on the pony and nodded slightly. "Well, uh… There's not much to tell, Mister Gandalf, sir. I love to sing more than almost anything and, uh, I sing basically all the time. There's nothing terribly interesting about it…"

"Why, lass, it's completely interestin'!" Bofur exclaimed with a cheery smile.

I smiled and chuckled a little, loosening my grip on my pony's stomach as I felt a little more at ease. "I suppose…"

"You wouldn't mind considerin' singin' for us, would you, lass?"

I met Bofur's happy gaze nervously, feeling my heart pounding heavily in my chest. "Oh, you wouldn't want to hear me sing, Bofur. I'm nothing special."

"Ah, lass. I'm sure your pretty voice will match your pretty face," he insisted sweetly.

"Bofur!" Thorin snapped from the head of the procession. "Leave the girl alone and stop lying to her!"

Hurt swelled in my chest at Thorin's words. Wanting to spite him and his somewhat cruel remark, I opened my mouth and started singing a song from "Return of the King". "Home is behind, the world ahead," I started softly, feeling shy and unsure of myself. "And there are many paths to tread. Through shadow, to the edge of night, until the stars are all alight. Mist and shadow, cloud and shade. All shall fade, all shall fade."

The wide smile on Bofur, Ori, and Gandalf's faces were all I needed to know that I hadn't made a fool of myself.

**Here's a link to me singing the mentioned song:** ** www . youtube watch?v=JwnXby6UcLs**

**Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

Ori grinned and clapped his hands wildly, startling his pony. Bofur, Fili, and Kili joined his applause while Dori, Nori, and Balin smiled a little as they looked back at me. I blushed and brought my chin to my chest in embarrassment at their sudden attention.  
"Miss Diana?" Ori asked softly, the faintest of blushes on his cheeks. "I-I like your voice. It's very pretty."  
"Oh, Ori. Thank you. That's very sweet of you."  
Bofur nodded eagerly. "The lady's right. Your voice is quite lovely."  
I felt my blush darken considerably at his compliment. I smiled and looked down at my pony's mane. "Thank you, Bofur. That's very kind of you."  
Fili and Kili simultaneously rode up behind me, grins on their handsome faces. Fili steered his horse close to mine and winked at me. I probably looked like a tomato by then.  
"Miss Diana Scott," he began, looking straight into my eyes, "I must say that you are the most interesting Hobbit I've ever met."  
"What makes you say that?" I asked curiously.  
"Your clothes, for one. I've never seen garments such as yours before."  
"Oh." I cleared my throat and shrugged a litte. "I'm, uh, not from around here."  
"I'd noticed."  
"Hey!"  
Fili chuckled. "I meant no offense, Miss Scott. I find your style of garments odd, yet amusing."  
"Amusing?"  
"Your shirt is very... interesting," he commented, leaning towards me and winking again.  
One of his hands came and rested on my knee, making me squeak and nearly stop breathing. "Brother!" Kili announced with a wide smile. "What happened to sharing the lady?"  
"What?!"  
The two brothers laughed heartily at my reaction. Kili steered his pony close to mine like his brother and smiled at me. "Fili and I made a deal to share you."  
"Share me?" I stared incredulously at the two other and shook my head in confusion. "I feel like a toy two toddlers are fighting over. What do you mean, 'share' me?"  
"I find you incredibly interesting," Fili explained. "As does my brother. In order to insure that we have equal amounts of time in your presence, we've decide I share you."  
I looked at Gandalf, completely speechless. The wizard merely smiled at me and urged his horse onward to join Thorin at the front of the procession.  
"Gandalf? Gandalf! Where are you going? Don't leave me with these two buffoons!"  
"Oi! We're not buffoons!" the two protested.  
I smiled and looked at each of them for a few moments. "Sure you aren't..."

* * *

"D'you think Mister Boggins will follow us?"  
I glanced at Kili with a knowing smile. "I think Bilbo Baggins will show up, Kili."  
Ahead of us, Nori scoffed. He looked over his shoulder at me and flashed me a condescending smile. "What makes you so sure, lass?"  
I shrugged. "I don't know. I just have a feeling that he'll show up eventually."  
Dori, Oin, and Bofur all nodded. Oin chuckled and replied, "I'll wager the Hobbit shows."  
"How much do you wager, eh, Oin?" Nori questioned.  
"Five gold pieces he shows."  
"I wager ten that he doesn't."  
Soon enough, the entire company was placing bets on Bilbo showing up before they passed Bree. I kept my thoughts to myself and smiled as I watched the dwarves argue. Fili and Kili bet with Dwalin that Bilbo would show up and Gloin bet with Gandalf that he wouldn't. After everyone had bet their respective amounts, they turned to me.  
"What about you, lass?" Bofur asked. "What will you bet?"  
I smiled and shook my head. "I don't have any money. Besides, I'm with you. I'm completely positive that Bilbo will show up."  
Half of the company started arguing with me then, asking me why I was so certain. Before I could reply, Thorin had steered his pony to walk just ahead of mine and he sent me a glare that nearly killed me. "It does not matter what the girl's opinions are or why she has them. She is not a part of this company."  
I sighed and urged my pony forward so I was riding next to him. "The girl has a name, Thorin Oakenshield, and she would like you to use it."  
"Why should I? After you disrespected me in front of my men?"  
"I apologized for that! My mouth ran away with me! I don't actually think you're a prick. I think you're pretty awesome and I think you'll be a great king someday."  
He narrowed his eyes and leaned towards me, whispering, "If you raise your voice to me again, I will abandon you on the roadside. If you slow us down, I will leave you in the next village or town we come across. Now keep quiet and try not to distract my men."

**Welp. What did y'all think about this chapter? Too OOC?**


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